Here’s to our tomorrows
To our drunken oblivion
Of the reality we thought we’d swear to change
To midnights dressed in cupcakes and soda
To Fridays with the grill and beer
And laying under the stars
On the back of your truck
To counting forever on each other’s fingers
I’ll sing you carols of new life
And joyous reconciliations and new discoveries
I’ll write you letters
Stapled to the edges with postcards and Polaroids
But I won’t write them about me
You were a good friend
Too good
And I know this pain too well
To let you know its secrets
But under the shade of velvet indigo
Let me draw from you truth
About
All of this
(When)
Did I stop being your guiding light to home?
Did we learn to be proud and lazy?
Did I look like I stopped wanting you?
Did we learn to live in lies?
Because for so long
You were the blood I drew into my veins
Not just for the high
But for the cure
(How)
Did we drive ourselves to ruin?
Did I not notice you float away into another world?
Did we love each other to the point of emptiness and destruction?
Did I not hear the wind call for a presence of mind?
Because for so long
You were the reason behind my reasons
And the strength behind my strength
Not for crowns or jewels
But for life
(Why)
Did you leave?
(Where)
Did you go?
(Why)
Did I break when you left?
(Where)
Do I hide it?
Oh God, it hurts.
There is no in-between
When it hurts on the inside
And there’s nothing to cling on to –
The heat from a fire that never promised to stay –
And when it hurts on the outside
Because nothing feels right
Nothing feels stable
And all you are is just existence
No color
No expression
No breath
No life
Draw from my ire your freedom
But let me cheer for my broken heart
Because it depends on no one else
But me
Because it has no one else
But me
Because it died rescuing no one else
But me
So here’s to our tomorrows
And their songs and sorrows
To their victories and their light
To the knives we leave in our hearts
For the sake of all that was that made us who we are
blackredinkoneverything 